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I haven't posted in a while. Life with seven kids is busy. There is not much time to sit, much less sit to write. Honestly, life with seven kids is more than just busy. It is exhausting. It is, at times, hard and frustrating. I was only marginally competent at momming my own kids, so throwing four more in the mix has really enhanced my maternal inadequacies.
The biggest battle that I am losing is keeping the house clean. I have given up on having only a load or two of laundry waiting for me. Now I feel accomplished when the clothes are not spilling out of the hampers onto the floor. I try to keep the living room and kitchen presentable in case a door-to-door salesman, a Girl Scout, or a caseworker should stop by, but the kids’ rooms and playroom look like the proverbial tornado hit them.
I am a complete failure at daily backpack checks this school year. With counseling and family visits and robotics and golf and gymnastics, all of the kids are coming and going all afternoon and evening most days, so the routine that I once had doesn’t exist right now. Backpacks are no longer placed on the kitchen counter for me to search like a vigilant TSA employee. I take their word for it that homework is complete and there is nothing for me to read or sign. The teacher in me cringes as I admit this, but it is what it is for now.
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| Asher making waffles for the kids |
Policing kindness is a full-time job with seven kids, so I have learned to choose carefully what needs my intervention and what can be used as character building opportunities. Just the other day, Kingston told the littlest one that if she didn’t stop sucking her fingers that “momma’s gonna cut ‘em off.” (And no, I don’t make this a practice in my home.) Some moms would have chastised him for such a harsh remark, reassured her that it would never happen, and maybe even had him apologize for it. A year ago, I would have intervened, too. Not that day. I remained silent, except for the muffled giggled I tried to hide. My decision to pull an Elsa and let it go was good for both of them: she got a quick lesson that actions could have dire consequences, and his budding personality was not stifled by a reprimand.
I am all for keeping the lies about the mythical characters of childhood alive as long as possible. Right now I am fighting desperately to keep the little darlings who love my high heels out of my closet where the Santa magic is being hidden. But this tooth fairy gig may be the death of me. I am seriously ready to come clean with them all. I have four girls currently in the tooth-losing phase. In one week, every single girl lost a tooth. I don’t know why it is so hard for me to retrieve the tooth and replace it with a dollar or two before waking the kids for school, but it is an absolute struggle. It can be the last thing on my mind as I close my eyes to sleep, and I still forget to do it when I wake. I have had to get really creative to keep my skeptical 5th-grade girls still believing, but so far, so good.
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| Coloring contests help me organize the chaos in the house! |
The list goes on and on. I feel like a complete failure most days when it comes to the duties of motherhood. But for some reason, the kids don’t see any of it (well, except when I burn the bread.) They don’t seem to recognize any of my shortcomings. Instead, they treat me like I am the best mom in the world. They race to meet me at the door when I get home. They fight each other to sit on my lap. They long to hug and kiss me whenever they get the chance. They love me so very much even though I seem to fail them daily. That is the beauty of this mess, and that is why I haven't thrown in the towel.
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| Never lacking a workout partner or two |
I was reminded the other day on my way to work, as I listened to the Word, that God uses the inadequate to fulfill his purposes: Abraham, Moses, Paul, David. There are so many more. He uses the flawed, the weak, and the least likely for the job. I find peace and confidence in that.
And so we finish out 2018, our seventh year of fostering, with seven kids. I am not sure how much longer we will be a party of nine because our girls will most likely be leaving us in the coming months. One set of sisters is looking for a forever family, and the other set will be going back to live with dad. So by summer, I am sure we will be back to the manageable number of three, maybe four. This will probably never happen again---our taking four fosters at one time--- but I am so glad we didn’t say no. It has been the craziest, busiest, most beautiful months of my life.
